Friday, December 19, 2014

A CHRISTMAS VERSION OF 1 CORINTHIANS 13

One of our Aunts sent this to us, and we thought it was worth passing on.

 A CHRISTMAS VERSION OF 1 CORINTHIANS 13

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I'm just another decorator.



If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I'm just another cook.







If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.



If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of   holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.



Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.




Love is kind, though harried and tired.








Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

 Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.






 Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never fails.


Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust,







 but giving the gift of love will endure.



Friday, November 7, 2014

The joy of sadness

I work with many men who are struggling with sexual addictions.  A few of them are accountable to me.  We text each other, encourage each other and pray for one another.

I wanted to share a quick story about one of them.  I'll call him Elmer.

Elmer has recently moved, and he's been having a hard time with the move because he's lost many friends over the distance.  He sent me a text a few weeks ago that said, "I am missing my church and my friends, and I realize I am feeling sad."

Yeah... so?  You might say.

Let me tell you why this is significant.  Most guys, as they start to be accountable about addictive sin patterns in their lives, will ask for prayer and support right at the moment they are struggling with temptation.  Or worse, after they have given in.

But Elmer was starting to grasp how it works.  To recognize the feeling, to talk to someone about it, and to invite Jesus into it, instead of just numbing it.

I was reminded of this as I was walking to the train and saw this sign.  I snapped this picture of it, and I now know it's a song lyric, but it made me really think of the spiritual significance of this.

The only joy of sadness is that we can feel it.  And if we just medicate it, if we just numb our emotional pain, we won't even know why it was there.

Three cheers for Elmer, who is recognizing long-neglected feelings, instead of numbing them.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Matt


My friend Matt died.  He was helping a panicking child one moment and dead in the water the next.  It was a little over two months ago.  He was one of my very best friends.  And I don’t have many friends.

To say that Matt was a lifeline for me would be an overstatement.  But I will say he was my tin can on a string.

My conversations with Matt were usually in extremes.  They were either completely superficial, (I mean down-right silly, as in doing the dialogue from an entire Monty Python sketch) or it was deep.  There was rarely much in between, other than work-related stuff.  We would talk about hope and despair and frustration and longings and where-is-God-anyway.  And then we would come up for air and talk about birds, books, or the ministry of silly walks and gumby brain specialists.
*All italics in this post are Matt's lyrics.*

=============================
Is there reason for all we push through?
=============================

I miss both of those modes more than I can say.  I don’t have any one that I can be as silly with as I was with Matt Auten.  I don’t have any one that I can have heart-wrenching conversations with like I could with Matt Auten.  And so my life seems to have lost some of the breadth in its spectrum.  All the colours just aren’t there.



I say Matt was a tin can on a string for me because of the way his music affected me.  He was on my rotation of favourites on my hot-pink-ipod-and-I’m-OK-with-that, and so I would listen to him on the bus or train on the way to work.  I would hear him almost every day, and I would say increasingly so in this last year, maybe because I have been feeling lonely.

=================================
Did you put your trust in this broken cup?
It’s not in this vessel
It’s all in the light that fills it up
=================================

As I listened to Matt’s music, it was like I was putting that tin can up to my ear, and through the string, and through the music, Matt would put the other can on his chest, and I could hear his heart.  And that heart, like our conversations, would point me to the deeper things, and the still point in a topsy-turvy world.

I remember when Matt wrote his first song.  We were at Montreat, and he came in our room and told us “I think I just wrote my first song” and then played it.  It was short; just a chorus, I think.  It was called “A Cup of Soup on a Rainy Day.”  I asked Matt about this years later, and he had forgotten it… which is a shame, because I still think of it every time I have a cup of soup on a rainy day.

One thing I love about music (and art in general) is how the Holy Spirit uses it.  One time I was listening to Matt’s song “Dear Samuel,” and I had no idea who “Samuel” was or who he wrote it for, but at that moment, it became about me.  It was at a time when I had been trying to fill my life with stuff, especially work, and a failed relationship.  I remember sitting alone in my apartment, with his music playing…

Finally lonely, aren’t you
You tried so hard to fill your life without me
Finally broken, aren’t you
You see you weren’t made to be whole without me

And I sobbed.  That was me.  And I felt like God sat there with me on my carpet next to the CD player and put his arm around me, and let Matt’s lyrics do his whispering…

Now is the time to climb where I teach you
One move at a time, stay where I can reach you

Believe me my child, there is nothing to choose
You have nothing at all… but your whole self to lose

It wasn’t until later that he told me he wrote it for Mark Twain.  But God had other plans for it that night.  I’m sure there are many others who have experienced something similar.

===========================================
There's no warmth in truth without something solid to burn
===========================================

Matt actually did write one song about me.  When he first told me, it was in an apologetic sort of way, because it was a song about being passed over in the areas of love… ok, it was a song about being dumped, over and over again.  Here I had hoped that if I ever inspired a song, it would be about passion for life, or chasing dreams…  No, not me, this song was about striking out repeatedly in the girlfriend department.  Now, as a happily married man of ten years, I can look back on those lyrics and smile and breathe a sigh of relief that none of those relationships worked out, but at the time, I could only appreciate the song as a song, and sigh.

The last line in the chorus says, “I pray that I'll have the will to be, nestled in Jesus’ sovereignty.

I guess after all these years, the situation has changed, but that is still my prayer.  As I wrestle with the story of his drowning or whatever happened, as my heart breaks for Amy, and for Graham, and for Ben, as my tears scream out for understanding (just where were the f***ing angels anyway?)  

========================
You say do without hope, 
take a chance on a fall, 
go in deeper and be made whole
========================

Now the string is cut.
But I can still hold that tin can up to my ear
And his music echoes
Like crashing waves in a sea shell
Calling me
Still, after all these years
Praying that I'll have the will to be
Nestled in Jesus’ sovereignty.





Thursday, October 30, 2014

How we got to go to Thailand

People have wondered, "How does a couple, who has three kids, lives on raised support, and is struggling with debt, go on a trip to Thailand?"

So glad you asked, because it's actually a great story.

Toni, our boss, had really been hoping for all of staff to be able to come to this global conference.  Then he gave us the good news that an anonymous donor had paid for the conference fees for all of staff.  That meant that all we had to do was to GET there, then all was paid for.  But flights to Thailand were $1,400 to $1,800, so it was still a pretty slim chance.  Toni told us to go ahead and try to raise the money for the flight.

Then as it came down to "decision time," I had decided to tell Toni on Monday that there was no way that we could go, as I had only been able to raise $320.

The weekend preceding this Monday, I was speaking at a church, and the pastor said I should mention any projects or events.  So I mentioned a training that was happening this summer in Calgary, and another one in Thailand that we probably could not attend due to the price of airfare.

Afterwards, a lady I did not know came up to me and said, "Tell me about this thing in Thailand."  I told her about the conference, and then she said, "My husband and I have all these points on our card that we are not using - why don't we use them to pay for your flight?"  I was dumbstruck.

The following Monday, when I had planned to tell Toni that I could not go, I walked in to find out that ANOTHER donor had anonymously offered to pay for my flight.  This meant that Joanne and I could BOTH go.

Then we had to figure out what to do with the kids, and a friend who had been a nanny, and had babysat for the kids several times, said she would keep the kids for us, for free.

But we needed to board the dog, and that was going to cost around $400, and we didn't know where that money was going to come from.  Then another friend said they would keep our dog for us, for free.

Then Joanne, who had previously donated toward the BC Children's Hospital, received a letter in the mail from the hospital stating that she had won something in their fundraising draw.  We went down to pick it up... it was a suitcase!

It seemed like the final touch, the bow on the package, on this gift from God.  And we are very grateful!

Friday, July 4, 2014

Journey to Thailand

Joanne writes:
There we were sitting side by side on board a fancy big plane eating noodles at 11:30 pm heading to Thailand.  I was taken back by how much God must really love me, how we delight Him.  I could just imagine Him elbowing Jesus saying "wait till they see this...wait till they experience that... they are going to love it..."  He must be giddy with all that He does and wants to do for us, all heaven must be filled with laughter that is what I was thinking as they passed around the warm towelettes before our next meal.

Thailand was hot. The air hit us as we got off our plane. It didn't cause our smiles to disappear, it just caused them to catch all the dripping sweat.  The vegetation, the limestone formations jutting up from the grounds, the warm, I mean warm sea water, the smells (the good and the not so good) and the food (which I could go on and on about) Andrew and I were on a sensation overload.

We joined the others who traveled around the globe to attend this year's Clearing.  From Australia, the United Kingdom, Guam, the Philippines, China, South Africa and on and on it went.

The conference started beautifully with our meeting space being decorated daily with colour and texture and theme-driven designs by Toni and Mark  - simply outstanding.
I knew that God had something in store for us and each day... He carefully layered upon what He delivered the day before.  The chosen themes were;

Adopted Orphan, Beloved Child,
Grounded Disciple, and ending with Contented Adult

Having the opportunity to sit and listen to great teachings and respond to what I felt God was saying in our large group time, and then having the privilege to share and pray with 4 culturally diverse women was such a blessing.
I got to take part in adult conversation, I got to stay up late with my husband and sleep all thru the night!  I had the pleasure to pray with women and see the Spirit move.  I jumped in the warm salted sea with Andrew and swam up to a pool bar and a had a Singha beer with my friends.  I was smiling! And I knew, just knew that heaven was smiling with me, rejoicing.

The song most touching to me which carried me all the way home and even now as I type was one by Chris Tomlin "I  lift my hands".

It speaks to me of being an active participant in the story of my life with God.  Of choosing, of remembering and believing when I have felt I have been stagnant and wallowing in the dirt of this particular season. The conference spoke a lot to me of the desert and a place of "liminality."  Being in this place of in between, a threshold place and a not yet.  I was reminded of the necessity of walking in the desert cause if we stop,  surely we will die.  The desert is inevitable. It is where we are all called at some time or other. It is place of purging, we encounter ourselves in new ways there.  It is a place of reliance on someone greater than ourselves.  I have been blinded, sand in my eyes to where I am, and where I am going.  I have sat down in the heat,  which our awesome speaker Paul Spilsbury spoke of as state  "acedia."  The passive unbelief, to give up, and not care, and not care that you don't care. Cool huh.
It was a glass of water being dumped on me. It was refreshing it was hopeful.
I have to choose to accept the life that Jesus wants to give me beyond what I thought it should be, I have to give that dream, idea, whatever,  up and then I will find the life He intended for me.
 God may want to save me from my well ordered life. He wants me to choose to turn to Him.  He wants me to live beyond my brokenness, and my healing has very little to do with me being perfect.  Rats.
He simply simply wants to give us himself.  He is enough.
To go back to the song.

"I lift my hands to believe again. You are my refugee, you are my strength.
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember.
You are faithful God . You are faithful God forever
Let faith arise, let faith arise.
Open my eyes open my eyes let faith arise"


Thank you for your prayers. Thank you who gave the monies for Andrew and I to go.  I don't know who you are but I am thankful for your generosity and kindness to us and our family. My children survived and even better,  enjoyed their time with Alana awesome Klatt and Erica superstar Daly and Jill you rock Schmidt and last but not least Frieda and Albert the wonder duo Chus.  I also must sing the praises of the Kuhn and Nickerson clan who loved on our doggie which may of been the tougher job than the children.

Thailand was a time of refreshment for both Andrew and I. The time away was a miracle in my mind and I am so glad I chose to jump in and go.
Now, if I could only figure out how they made noodles be so yummy with eggs, to cut a pineapple so creatively and how to get some that  Singha beer here in Richmond.


Yours,
Joanne DiGiovanni Lakin







Thursday, July 3, 2014

Weird Liberation

A guy who was in my small group last year sent this to us.  He is married, but was struggling with an attraction to someone at his office.  I asked his permission to share his words, as I thought it would be encouraging to others.  

Hey Guys –

Through answered prayers, the work of the Holy Spirit, and the tools that Living Waters has taught me to use….  Something has changed, and keeps changing.

My co-worker was on holidays for 2 weeks & out of the country.  I was on holidays with my family for one of those.

Yesterday was the first day back together.  And for the moment, at least, I can say that something is very different…  the “need,”  the “hope,” the “longing”… however it can be described…  simply isn't there & doesn't actually make sense that it was there in the first place.  Jesus has been working overtime to fill in those gaps & to meet me in the places that created the emptiness…

It’s weird & it’s liberating. 



Having said all of that, I know that I need to still “do the work,” and stand firm, being ever vigilant, knowing that the enemy is on the prowl, waiting for an opportune time.


I can’t say it enough – thank you for standing with me and walking with me in this journey. 


Thanks again.  I really appreciate all of you!


And God bless you, friend.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and may Jesus continue to fill the gaps in your life.  Three cheers for weird liberation!

The Blogger is back...

If I am a blogger... does that make you, the reader, a blog-ette?  (Is that bloguette in French?)  But that may be too similar to a loaf of bread, which may be offensive to some.

To call me a blogger may be offensive to other bloggers, because I have certainly not been prolific in that department, as can be seen by the date on my last entry, which was almost a year ago.

Truth be told, I was "locked out" of the blogger website for a long time, and felt very confused and frustrated and foolish in that I could not figure out how to get back in.  This was mixed with a dash of "blogger block" in that the difficulties of logging in to the website became an easy excuse to not write.

So I am hoping share more of ministry life, family life, frustrations and celebrations, with humour scattered in as well.  Hope you come back by to read again.